Winter Nights & Cold Hearts
“we judge others by their actions.
we judge ourselves by our intentions.”
As the world turns and perhaps burns, the Boy’s delight in the autumn colors has become tinged with melancholy. From the sense of impending loss most heightened by the beauty all around. Yet on this night, the most pressing matter for the Boy while scribbling in his journal he writes, “to hold space for a friend is what’s ringing in my mind.”
“I try to not judge the actions of others because I haven’t walked in the shoes of the other person, yet I fail regularly,” the Boy writes in his journal.
His eyes still heavy with sleep and the weight of a conversation with a dear friend going through it, the Boy continues to write, “I tend to judge others by their actions, but myself always by my intentions.” In his true unruly fashion of drawing inspiration unique to the Boy, the profound quote he ponders is a credit to his Panda Express treat meal dinner, which, and like the last 48 hours, have his stomach acting a bit funny now too.
“I try to not judge the actions of others because I haven’t walked in the shoes of the other person, yet I fail regularly,” the Boy writes in his journal.
As the early November days usher in cozy season, the melancholy of autumn feels like the music that soothes us from the ache of a cruel world and the approaching winter of colder hearts. At this moment, the Boy finds himself reflecting on uncomfortable truths which reveal his actions to embody the self-centered thrope that is Carrie Bradshaw, of HBO’s iconic classic Sex and the City and its recent reboot.
To understate it, Carrie was, complicated. At the beginning, most millennials and now coming of age gen Z’ers, of this dare I say “cult classic,” saw in Carrie, “our fictional much cooler older Gen X sister.” The character though fiction embodies traits based in reality. For the Boy, and viewers alike, with age and maturity, the metaphors and hypocritical paradoxes that Carrie took us up and down and across 6 seasons and now a reboot, And Just Like That — somehow allow a deeper understanding of these misgivings and make way for a larger ability to relate.
Like our protagonists, the Boy also struggles to walk the thin line between love and hate, as of result of his own decision-making, which does not deny the endearment of love’s pursuit and ultimate promise.
So the notion that on the Boy’s journey of maturing, not only does he draw disillusions of main character similarities with the heroine of Sex and the City — and her laundry list of ways her character traits haven’t aged well. Like our protagonists, the Boy also struggles to walk the thin line between love and hate, as of result of his own decision-making, which does not deny the endearment of love’s pursuit and ultimate promise.
The thrope of Carrie Bradshaw, on this Texas autumn night, somehow feels like the perfect metaphor for the paradox of learning a self-love not void of hard truths, but of a toxic positivity. One that refuses to recognize the importance of growing a love for Self and others centered on what Parker Palmer calls in his work Let Your Life Speak, “our deep gladness in alignment with the world’s deepest need.”
Today, this type of behavior is found in the two Carrie’s, according to Alex Abad-Santos, senior correspondent at Vox, this way of being “has a name — a nonmedical diagnosis, even” — called, “main character syndrome.”
The line between the Carrie we love and the Carrie we hate is thin, give or take a rewatch or two. Today, this type of behavior is found in the two Carrie’s, according to Alex Abad-Santos, senior correspondent at Vox, this way of being “has a name — a nonmedical diagnosis, even” — called, “main character syndrome.” Growingly popularized on TikTok, and perfectly curated IG feeds, this concept is “an affliction where someone acts like and believes the world centers around them.” Just like Carrie. Ironically, or not, is obviously the literal main character of her show. Beyond that though, she stands as a useful avatar of MCS, and a conduit through which the Boy feels free to reflect and laugh at his own over-the-top behavior.
Maybe on this autumn night – one that’s giving “winter may come early to Texas” vibes, the Boy is experiencing streams of thoughts that deeply affect his peace of mind. His rollercoaster of highs and lows so powerful allow such intense emotional clarity it feels like only he himself could ever possibly understand. Of course, that’s not the case, but it can feel good to wallow, and that’s why the pull of MCS — of ‘being a Carrie” — is so strong.
His rollercoaster of highs and lows so powerful allow such intense emotional clarity it feels like only he himself could ever possibly understand. Of course, that’s not the case, but it can feel good to wallow, and that’s why the pull of MCS — of ‘being a Carrie” — is so strong
There is a saying that goes, “they broke the mold when you were born.” This statement is correct. No one else was created in your mold. Now, in the case of our protagonist, the truth of the matter is that two Carrie Bradshaw’s exist: the flirty, quirky one we’re supposed to follow through her ups and downs, and the borderline sociopathic vampire who leaves her boyfriends as husks of their former selves and bullies her girlfriends for unconditional (financial) support, all while refusing to let them have even a moment in the sun.
As any 30-something dating knows, significant others cycle in and out of your life, but when those dark Sunday nights of autumn and winter roll around and you're left to your own devices, the most important thing is being at peace with who you are.
Season 6, episode 20, "An American Girl in Paris, Part Deux", gives a strong glimpse of the duplicity of her character. Managing to be quoted stating that, "the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you, you love, well, that's just fabulous." As any 30-something dating knows, significant others cycle in and out of your life, but when those dark Sunday nights of autumn and winter roll around and you're left to your own devices, the most important thing is being at peace with who you are.
Listen to my full Spotify and Youtube playlist “Winter Nights & Cold Hearts ” below!
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Listen to my full Spotify and Youtube playlist “Winter Nights & Cold Hearts ” below! 〰️
Have a song I should hear? Email me with your suggestion!
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