The Boy & The Fight Of Our Lives

Everyone is fighting something, said Sherlock.

The saying that goes, “just because they carry it well, it doesn’t mean it’s heavy”, is one that captivates the last 10 years of my life. To understand how we got here, we must first understand how it all started (more on that for the book).

At this moment, I stand at the threshold of my 32nd birthday. If you ask my Mom, yes I’m older but I’m also still yet wiser. If you ask the last 10 years leading up to today, it might tell a different tale. Now whichever alternative facts we choose to believe, one constant remain – that sometimes quiet, shy, full of life insecure boy from the Congo who allegedly almost got him and his siblings taken in an Airport in New York circa 1996, has somehow grown into a Black Man in America. From the exterior or carefully curated IG feed you probably couldn’t tell, however when you get to know this character, you may also meet the semblance of that same insecure boy now playing the role of a grown-up child pretending to be an adult.

…that sometimes quiet, shy, full of life insecure boy from the Congo who allegedly almost got himself and his siblings taken in an Airport in New York circa 1996, has somehow grown into a Black Man in America.

After a series of conversations over the course of a few months, a Mentor of mine posed this direct question to me, “Why are you an Insecure Black Man in America?” Not knowing at the time if this was rhetorical, or one requiring as a direct answer as the question itself. I attempted to register a response but found myself stuck struggling to find the right syntax to collate into coherence. However, in the end, all I could muster was simply, “That’s an interesting question, and one I’d need to spend some time to reflect and sit with in order to fully answer honestly.”

After a series of conversations over the course of a few months, a Mentor of mine posed this direct question to me, “Why are You an Insecure Black Man in America?”

So that’s what I’ve done – I’ve sat with this question, and I continue to add, remove, review, and repeat the flow of understanding and deeply connecting with what answers to this seemingly simple question truly mean.

It is in these uncomfortable questions, where we’re empowered to seek the truth. It is in the discomfort from uncertainty, where we stumble upon the most meaningful breakthroughs.

I could of course given a pre-cooked automated response to this question, but for some reason, in that moment it felt as if that question was delivered with a deeper intent, one which pierced my already overly active subconscious mind. However, in sitting with this exercise, I find that the many answers were reminders of who this boy was, is and clues to where the fight of our lives is taking us as we approach this next decade of manhood.

It is in these uncomfortable questions, where we’re empowered to seek the truth. It is in the discomfort from uncertainty, where we stumble upon the most meaningful breakthroughs. It is in the missing out of a once in a moment memory, where we find the beauty of life is grounded in good faith and honesty. It is in the loss of a dear friend, where we find the longing for a love that is unconditional. It is in the silent tears, the wallowing in the dark valleys of depression, and the overcoming of our deepest fears, that we succumb to our mere mortal reality. It is here we are reminded that we are still breathing amongst the living. So, therefore, if we truly dare to believe we might honestly just dare to become the great one in the fight of our lives.

It is here we are reminded that we are still breathing amongst the living.

Listen to my full Spotify playlist “30 Days Of Songs” below! Full disclosure, inspired by one of those collective internet prompts in this case sharing songs in response to the prompts that make up 30 Days of Songs — circa Long Beach Spring 2020.

Have a song I should hear? Email me with your suggestion!

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